A reflection by Susan Bartels, BBBSLV CEO
I became a Big Sister during my sophomore year of college to my Little Sister Miesha. It was a challenging time in life for Miesha, and I wanted to be the best role model I could be.
Miesha was in learning support; she had a hard time with reading and telling left from right. For the two years we were matched, I learned so much about how to work through these challenges. And, we both had a great time.
We used to bake all the time – it was our favorite shared activity! I chose baking as a great activity because I knew it would reinforce reading and measuring out ingredients would help her as well. Best of all, the end results were delicious (usually)!
Amazingly, this activity became her passion. Miesha ended up studying culinary arts in high school. Our relationship taught me that, when working with your Little, it is best to find an activity they truly enjoy and are passionate about. It also provided her with the enthusiasm to forge her own path and overcome challenges that hampered her school performance and self-confidence.
Today, Miesha and I still make it a point to catch up every few months, and I am thrilled we’ve managed to maintain a friendship for almost 30 years. After my experience with Miesha, I wanted to continue serving as a mentor in any capacity I could.
I was in my 30s when I was matched with Sarah, and despite our age difference, we hit it off. Sarah’s other siblings had Bigs, and the second their mother saw the rapport between Sarah and me, she knew it was going to last.
Sarah was a middle child like me, so we instantly connected – and laughed a lot – on our shared experiences. Sarah never wanted to share our time with any of her siblings, so we formed an extremely close bond. When I was matched with Sarah, I learned how important it was to always express my belief and confidence in her. This may seem like an obvious lesson, but often, Littles we serve have never had a role model tell them “I believe in you.”
I always made sure to ask questions of Sarah and provide advice. Simply asking your Little “how was your day?” can provide for a wealth of exciting conversation. And, again, your Little may never have had someone truly listen to the answer to questions like this. Today, Sarah has paid it forward as a Big Sister in the Lehigh Valley.
I have also been involved in two more matches – with Naomi and my current Little, Lienna.
Naomi and I formed an especially tight bond when she was in middle school, which, as we all know, represents a tough time for most children as they mature into teens. I quickly became someone she went to for advice and we had rich discussions about her Hispanic culture and other tough topics that any child in middle school is curious about. It felt important that Naomi was coming to a safe place where I could give her thoughtful feedback.
Naomi and I continued our relationship partway through her high school years, and it was gratifying that she wanted to remain matched for so long. I know I helped her navigate some of the sticky social and relationship situations always present in middle school and high school.
I also worked with Leianna, my current Little, through her transition from elementary school to middle school. We matched when she was a second grader at Jefferson Elementary School in Allentown, she is now 13 and is going through some of the same changes as Naomi.
Though we talk frequently of the impact that a mentoring match has on a Little, what I want to stress is the difference it makes for the Big, as well. It helped me better understand the challenges children and teenagers face at school, at home and with their friends. It even helped me as a parent in navigating challenges my own son faces.
Being a Big also allows me to stay connected to the mission and purpose of BBBS. I can better relate to what volunteers are going through, and provide guidance to them directly, or at least guide my staff in how to help and support our matches. Of course, I made mistakes when I first began in college and from those, I have learned a whole lot with Big Brothers Big Sisters.
Overall, it is important to us for our matches to create lasting changes and deep friendships that impact the lives of not only the Big and Little, but also their families and immediate friends, too. As a volunteer, you truly feel what it is like to begin a friendship and grow into family. There is nothing more rewarding than that.
If you want to learn more about becoming a Big, give us a call at 610-432-8000 or use our volunteer sign-up form to get started. Our matches are carefully created and closely supported by trained staff, so you will always have the tools you need to be the best mentor possible!
The Future is BIG! We’ve got a goal to recruit 30 new mentors over the month of September, and we hope you can join us! Visit our campaign page for The Future is BIG, or sign up now as a volunteer!